Not Just A Bookworm
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Cho Chang

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(17 Whispered | Tell me)

[16 Aug 2004|10:00pm]
[ mood | tired ]

My mum has limited my use of this thing! Said something about; corruption of youth What ever she meant by that...

So, my days are spend with reading Hogwarts- A History and staring out the window. Mr and Mrs Diggory owled me a few days ago, adking me to visit them and talk about Cedric... how could I say no?

They showed some of the pictures they had of us, at Hogwarts, at my place and his. Just what I needed, guilt.

This is a journal, so I might as well use it;
I've been having wierd dreams lately, scary dreams. I'm on my broom, flying, and the snitch is just there, right in front of me and I spur the broom faster and faster but the little thing keeps being just out of reach. We go higher and higher now, sky soaring by and the rain starts; cold and heavy. But by now, in the dream, all I can think about is getting the damn thing so I can stop flying, but I'm not fast enough and my arms are never long enough and it's gone when I blink.

Suddenly it's right there and I grab it, tight, but in the same instant my broom disapears and I fall to the ground screaming. I wake up just before impact.

I dream this almost every night... I wish I had some Dreamless Sleep Draught.

I miss you

(10 Whispered | Tell me)

[05 Aug 2004|01:50pm]
I'm happy

It has been a frantic few days, mum has been interrogating me on ends about that morning.

That si why I have not been able to write here or send owls. She has somehow gotten in to her head that everything is whis machines fault. The machine and his fault.

I did try to tell her not to carry on like this, I'm alright. I wasn't pressured in to anything and I am not losing my mind ... anymore.

And ... finally, I don't dread waking up in the morning, she should be happy about that. But, is she? No!

So, we ended up yelling at eachother, and now I'm grounded... first she's telling me to "move on and live my life, Cedric would have wanted me to" and when I do, "It's too soon and I should be ashamed of myself".

But let her yell and rant all she wants to, I'm still happy!

(8 Whispered | Tell me)

[31 Jul 2004|05:17pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Reading books can make a difference.

Mother says I need to stop staring out in to the rain, that I need to go on with my life and stop mourning Cedric.
This was odd, because I really wasn't thinking about Cedric at all.

I was just thinking about what difference it makes when it's a boy kissing you you like someone and they might like you back.

I went flying today, in the rain. Mother was worried I might catch a cold, but who get's a cold in the summer? Not me, I don't have time to be sick. I have to read my Charms books again, to make sure I know what Professor Flitwick will be teaching us.

I need to talk to Marietta! I don't know what to do, alright, I know what to do, but... how?

(Tell me)

The Talk [22 Jul 2004|10:53pm]
My mother made me sit down and have a 'talk' with her today. She cornered me, and wanted to talk about how I felt about Cedric, about how beautiful the service was and what a wonderful person he had been.... had been. I hate those words.

I tried to remind myself that it wasn't the end of the world when he died. Just the end of mine...

She said that.

That was the reson I was a little ... off...when we talked last night, but thank you so much for letting me sleep there. And talk it all through, I really needed that. Thank you so much! For the chat, the support, the kisses, the shoulder to cry on, the bed to sleep in.

Thank you so much, for ... being you!
You know who you are

(2 Whispered | Tell me)

[21 Jul 2004|10:56pm]
[ mood | numb ]

I need a hobby.
I need something to take my mind of things.
I need to play Quidditch again.
I need to get out more.
I need to think positive.

I just need

(2 Whispered | Tell me)

[19 Jul 2004|10:52pm]
That was.... unexpected.

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(14 Whispered | Tell me)

[19 Jul 2004|12:14am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Oh What did I do?!

(18 Whispered | Tell me)

Oh my [17 Jul 2004|05:28pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I just flooed home 10 minutes ago. Of course mum saw me climb out of the fireplace and had to ask me all sorts of questions I had no answer for.

I think I only told her I had been at a friend's house, fell asleep by accedent and flooed home as soon as I woke up. I didn't lie must, but I am glad she doesn't know how to use muggle-technology, so that I can write it here.
I'm still a little floored about it all.

I got kissed last night


I'm not sure what to do now, I feel so guilty for it, but it was so nice and sweet. And I was in a good moood when I woke up this morning, still entangled in [....] but once I got home the picture I have of Cedric, on my desk, just poked at my guilt again. How could I move on so fast, so easily? I can't, I mustn't.

(6 Whispered | Tell me)

Depressed [09 Jul 2004|07:12pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I voted against showing up at Ron Weasley's party, even if Angel had told me about it. It wouldn't be nice to show up un-invited and I'm not sure if Ron have approved.

Reading through everybody elses journals, it would seem as if I've missed out. Maybe I should have ignored the little voice in my head screaming; You can't do that!!

The days have been long and the nights even longer, the only thing I have to take my mind off things is this computer. I must say, they have some.... scary sites... here.

(7 Whispered | Tell me)

Day [05 Jul 2004|05:51pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

I took this laptop outside today. I thought about flying, but it did not seem worth the trouble.

I tried to read through a book today, but nothing in it could hold my attention.

It was not important enough.

I suspect that my mother is beginning to worry about me

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